An Interview with comedian, Eli Braden
Comedian, writer, musician, Eli Braden is a man of numerous talents. The entertainer posts funny music videos onto his YouTube page. On Twitter he showcases his humor to his 100k followers. Check out a few of Eli’s tweets below.
You know the gay couple on ‘Modern Family’? Only one of them is fat in real life.— Eli Braden (@EliBraden)
“SALMONDS™: THE ONLY ALMOND THAT TASTES LIKE SALMON”— Eli Braden (@EliBraden)
DATING TIP: When a woman says “I’m going to the ladies’ room to powder my nose”, she’s actually going to take a massive shit— Eli Braden (@EliBraden)
Below Eli talks about The Howard Stern show, Spaghetti-O’s, and writers block.
How long have you been interested in comedy?
I was a professional musician for years, which was great but I never made quite enough money. I’ve always been a big comedy nerd, but never considered pursuing it myself until I became too fat to become a rock star, at which point I discovered Tenacious D, and a light bulb went off over my head. A fat, funny, musical light bulb…
What does writing for The Howard Stern Show consist of? (The process, hours, environment, bathroom rules, etc.)
At this point everything I do for the Stern Show is done in my home. The process: execute any moronic idea I have that makes me laugh like an imbecile. The hours: whenever I can squeeze it in, day or night. The environment: cluttered and unsexy. The bathroom rules: I wear a diaper, so…
What would be the worst part of a zombie apocalypse?
@RealDonaldTrump tweeting about it.
What would 18 year old Eli say to present day Eli?
He’d probably just start making out with him. Such a fag.
L.A. life is great, right? Where is the best place in L.A to get coffee?
L.A. is great, especially if you’re one of ‘the beautiful people’ like me. Best place to get coffee is Starbucks – mainly cos they have a bathroom with a lock, so I can change my diaper in peace.
What advice would you give to young writers, and comics?
Give up. You’ll never be better than me.
What are some fun uses for a plastic bag?
Put it over the head of someone ugly enough to be willing to have sex with me… You see, I just managed to insult myself as well as anyone who finds me attractive. That’s why the ol’ love life is in the shitter, I guess! LOL
Do Spaghetti-O’s count as spaghetti? And does that make them Italian?
I’ll answer your questions with 2 more questions. Did John Paul Getty live in the ghetto? And does that make him Italian?
How do you deal with writers block? ( A bubble bath and Kool-Aid?)
A bubble bath and Kool-Aid sounds nice, but my tools of choice are methamphetamine and Spaghetti-O’s. A nice diaper change helps, too.
In Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t start the fire”, what reference of his do you relate to the most?
I like the part where he gets super drunk and crashes his car into a house… WHOOPS I’M MIXING UP REAL EVENTS IN HIS LIFE WITH THE LYRICS OF ONE OF HIS HIT SONGS. Ha ha, now that I slammed a legendary songwriting genius, I feel MUCH better about myself – THANKS VERONICA!