NFL RecapSports

Recap of NFL Week 10 and a Picture of a Hot Girl

Here in the DAPS sports department, we watch every game on Sundays so you don’t have to. Here’s a recap of what you may have missed. Here are the scores for those interested.

Vikings VS Lions: Most NFL players are humans who have elite physical talents that worked hard at their chosen craft. Then there are the super humans. The players that are so good they make you question if they are of the same species as you and I. Adrian Peterson and Calvin Johnson are another species. They are like those aliens from Prometheus or from Cone Heads. Johnson went for over 200 receiving yards and a touchdown and was tackled inside the 10 yard line for like the 50th time this year. Peterson rushed for 87 yards and a touchdown. Peterson’s human teammates were better than the Lions and they won the game as a result.

Oh you don’t remember that sketch? Well this joke doesn’t make much sense then

Titans VS Dolphins: The Titans took the Dolphins to smash town. Chris Johnson is continuing his climb back to fantasy relevance and I watched 0 minutes of this actual game.

Patriots VS Bills: The Bills hung tough. Ryan Fitzpatrick and his motley crew of explosive running backs and wide array of receivers put up points on points on points. The Patriots were just slightly more successful at this however and the game ended on  Fitzpatrick interception in the end zone during the attempted game winning drive. Oh and Danny Woodhead had 2 touchdowns because fuck you fantasy owners.

Chargers VS Bucs: Norv Turner had a mini meltdown after the game. I personally think he is out of ideas. The man has been doing everything possible to get fired for 4 years now. For some reason the Chargers owners won’t fire him. If he still has a job, next week he is going full on George Constanza.

Broncos VS Panthers: Peyton manning is just really good. The Broncos are a lock to get a first round playoff bye followed by a smack down at home against a wild card team. But for now Peyton Manning, Von Miller, Demarius Thomas and the Broncos are playing football at a very high level. The Panthers are doing the opposite. I just hope Cam Newton took notice of Vince Young’s situation and is investing his money in a long term mutual fund.

Raiders VS Ravens: Joe Flacco good, Carson Palmer only fantasy good. There isn’t much to say here but one sequence summed up the entire game. On 3rd and goal already up 48-20 the Ravens threw a pass to Anquin Boldin that was incomplete because Boldin fell down. The Raiders cornerback made a big show, waiving his hands to draw attention to how well he did his job on the play. Boldin simply pointed to the score board and walked off the field. The Ravens then ran the most perfectly executed fake field goal for an eff you touchdown and a message. Raiders, if you come at us, you best come correct.

Giants VS Bengals: The Giants are doing their “fuck this middle of the season” routine. They made no effort to cover AJ Green, Mohamed Sanu, Andre Hawkins or any one wearing a Bengals uniform. This was bad enough but they also decided to turn the ball over approximately 75 different times. I’d be more upset but they won the Super Bowl so whatever, fuck this shit.

Falcons VS Saints: So much to discuss in this game. The Saints ended the Falcons bid for a perfect season through a combination of explosive offense and just enough defense. Jimmy Graham and Tony Gonzalez seemed to play a game of “anything you can do I can do better”. They combined for something like 50 catches for 600 yards and a dozen touchdowns (not actual stats) as every small forward in Division 1 basketball went outside and started to learn to play tight end. Julio Jones, Lance Moore and Roddy White were all spectacular as well and this game had a very sandlot feel to it. The play of the game however came from Saints running back Chris Ivory who busted a 70 yard run for a touchdown that included 5 broken tackles and a speed burst right past multiple defenders. It was Bo Jacksonesque.

Is that Chris Ivory? No it’s Bo but Ivory did his best Bo impression on Sunday

Jets VS Seahawks: What is there left to say about the Jets at this point? It’s a failed experiment and everybody from the GM to the coach to the QB to half the offense will be on notice come the off season. Oh and Golden Tate caught and threw a touchdown for the Seahawks. It looks like Pete Carroll bailed on USC at the right time.

Cowboys VS Eagles: I rooted for the stadium to explode. Alas this did not happen. Instead we got the inevitable Mike Vick concussion and our first Nick Foles sighting. Everything I said in the previous paragraph applies to the Eagles as well. The Cowboys drama shit show train takes a 1 week hiatus as they managed to play one of the few teams more dysfunctional than they are.

Rams VS 49ers: The Rams lead the entire game until the 4th quarter when second year Colin Kaepernick filling in for the concussed Alex Smith led the 40ers on 2 separate touchdown drives. The 49ers vaunted defense forced a 4th down and a hammer lock on the game with 3 minutes left. Then Jeff Fisher called for a ballsy fake punt and the next thing you know Sam Bradford was throwing the go ahead touchdown. There was no way the young Niners QB would be able to put together a drive  into field goal range with 63 seconds but alas he did.

Overtime consisted of an 80yard pass called back due to penalty, 2 different missed field goals for a win and a huge third down conversion to preserve a tie. The league’s first tie in 4 years. I have nothing else to say except that Danny Amendola is really fucken good.

Your got girl of the week is Leilani Dowding

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Joe writes about sports for DAPS after single handidly running The Bachelor Bible into the ground due to his below average spelling. He counts among his greatest accomplishments carrying his editors Chris and Damian in a 3 on 3 5 overtime win in a beer pong game back in 2007. The quote to best describe him "I like stuff- Ralph Wiggum"