Stephen Hawking Already Proved That Time Travel is Impossible.

I know, I know. What a total bummer. I was really hoping we’d all be able to Time Travel into the past and explore the mysteries of the universe.

With an invitation this snazzy, how could no one show up??

OK, here’s the skinny: Stephen Hawking hosted a Time Travel Party. He didn’t tell anyone until after it was over. He waited around for time travelers from the future to arrive. They never did. Hence, Time Travel is impossible.

However, I have an alternate theory. Since I just re-watched Timecop last night, I know two versions of the same matter cannot occupy the same space at the same time. But future time travelers wouldn’t have to worry about that because their past selves wouldn’t be at Hawking’s party because they haven’t been born yet. So, why didn’t any time travelers show up at Stephen Hawking’s Time Travel Party?

The only logical answer that I can come up with, is that no one showed up because Stephen Hawking’s Time Travel Party sucked, so bad that it became known as the worst party ever thrown in Human history. Therefore, our future descendants knew to stay the fuck away from his boring ass fiesta.

Time Travel isn’t impossible. Stephen Hawking just throws horrible parties with no dip.

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Damian Thomas

Damian Thomas

I traverse the web so you don't have to and I have opinions and stuff.

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