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The Full Story Behind The World’s Longest Moving Violation

Recently while on a job for the Lifetime Network, my friend and co-worker Jack Schram was pulled over in his production truck. A bunch of lights were out in the back of the truck, and subsequently he received a ticket. To the officer”™s amusement and Jack”™s surprise, this was not the run of the mill ticket. The ticket was a rolled up scroll of charges, weighing in at about 2 pounds and running a whopping 75 feet in length. Upon returning to the office, we took some photos. The next day I posted these photos to and within 24 hours, the album I posted online had received 1.2 million hits. There were a lot of things I hadn”™t been entirely clear on and wasn”™t able to answer all the questions the commenters had asked me, so I spoke with Jack and he explained:

“I do freelance work in showbiz, and I drive box trucks for Movies, TV, Concerts, you name it. Everything about my truck was running properly when it got rented. I”™m leaving set after a long day and I see flashing lights, so I pull over. This happened on June 28th on the on ramp to 495 west from Meadowbrook long island back to NYC. We had been shooting in a prison and a guard there had told me if I’m ever pulled over on Long Island, to put keys on the dashboard to insure leniency from troopers, so I did. The cop told me “You got no lights on at all.” Meaning the box light on the top and the park/running lights on the bottom. Break lights, turn signals and four-way flashers worked fine. The ticket is basically a list of individual violations, one for each light but also different descriptions for each light, so I have no idea if it could have been printed smaller. The Officer’s info, as well as my own, is reprinted for each offense and I had to plead not guilty to each one. It took about a half an hour. I was supposed to give someone a ride to the train and they left because I had to plead not guilty like forty fucking times.

The officer was a pretty nice guy about the whole thing and wasn’t in a bad mood or anything. He mentioned what was wrong and then was gone for twenty minutes before returning with the 2lbs scroll of paper. It’s harder to add charges than to drop them so he probably overshot it a little to cover all bases. When I unrolled the document, it was a 75 foot long paper banner with plenty of little boxes to fill out. The whole stop took almost an hour. Apparently this is normal on Long Island.

I took the truck to get fixed on my day off and and they fixed it in about 5 minutes. And I got paid for the day, which is awesome. I paid nothing because I got the truck fixed, I”™m still not sure if I need to go to court though.”

Well there you have it, the story of how the world”™s longest ticket came to be. Now who wants to call the goddamn EPA? Jack told me he had called a number on the ticket to ask questions in regards to filling it out, and was told that long tickets are fairly common in Long Island. I don”™t think we need to use a tree”™s worth of paper every time someone blows a fuse.

Wanna see more photos?

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Media Producer at DAPS, freelance TV producer. Former game show contestant. Embracer of all things weird.